How Can This Be?
If only more people would say, “I acknowledge your pain and I am here
with you”. I wish I had had this. I look back now and fail to understand
the words and actions of people around me, people who are meant to
love and “know” me, at a time where I was at my weakest and most
fragile. We know that our pain cannot be fixed, but worse than that pain
is feeling isolated and alone it.
Emmerson- Empty Cradle Broken Heart
As I sit here writing this it has been 27 years since the loss of my baby
girl. I remember thinking “how can this be?” You see I was a young
mother of 20 looking forward to my wedding and starting my family
when my world came crashing down. As I sit in the doctor’s office
awaiting the news, I was numb. “I’m sorry your baby organs are not
conducive to life; the doctor began to say”. I don’t recall anything else
until he said, “would you like to terminate the pregnancy”. At that
moment a surge of anger moved through my body, “WHAT?”
The days and months ahead I would begin to anticipate the loss that was
inevitable. I would struggle between connection and disconnection, fear
and joy, pain, and peace. This would be the beginning of many waves of
grief that I had no idea how to handle and neither did anyone else. As
the months came and went so did my passion to live. In the darkest
moments as I sat in silence, I felt lost, alone, and gut-wrenching pain
that could not be soothed.
In the moments of empathy there are no words that need to be said, there
is nothing to be done but rather a supportive presence that whispers,
“you’re not alone”.